Of course parents want their children to love them; many go to extraordinary lengths in an attempt to obtain this. Some give and provide for their children far more than the children will ever need, some parents will even go to astonishing lengths to give things to children in an attempt to demonstrate their love for them.
Showering them with gifts and goodies To further demonstrate their love for their children some parents totally dote upon them by showering them with many and various gifts and goodies. Unknowingly and unintentionally these parents are making their children dependent upon them, this makes the parents feel good by providing all these things. However, the effect of this during a child’s development is that the child will in almost all cases develop some form of dysfunctional behaviour patterns. These dysfunctional behaviours may manifest themselves in many ways such as the children being reliant, having insecurity problems, having little self-confidence, having poor self-esteem, being totally selfish, self-centred, lazy, moody, having no respect for themselves, parents or others, being blamers, having poor communication skills, having excessive conflict problems, achieving poor results, being overweight, under achieving for their grade etc. The chances of these children being successful in life are greatly diminished.
Parents being cruel Contrary to the parent’s intentions they are in fact being cruel to their children because too often these children cannot cope in the real world once they have left the security of the home environment. The children usually go through life being antisocial, disliked, rejected, unhappy and with poor job prospects. This is now reaching epidemic proportions in the Western world.
Skills to Survive Every animal in the animal Kingdom teaches its offspring the SKILLS IT WILL NEED TO SURVIVE and be SUCCESSFUL. A lioness will teach its cubs how to stalk, hunt and kill its prey, so after a short time those cubs can take care of themselves and survive without the parent this is the order of life!
If a cub disobeys its parents the parent will give the cub a quick nip as a reminder that they must learn from the success of the elders of the pride. As the cubs reach maturity the now lions are self-sufficient and can not only survive independently they can also add value to the pride.
Humans the only animal Humans are the ONLY animal that takes care of their offspring well after they are old enough to take care of themselves. Many parents will provide and give their children everything except the one thing that will prove to be the most important and productive for children in the long term, SUCCESS AND LIFE SKILLS.
Love is Bonus The role of a parent is to teach their children the SKILLS they will need to be SUCCESSFUL in society and life. To teach them respect for themselves, their parents and others, if at the end of the day the children love the parents THAT IS A BONUS! If the child has no respect for itself it will certainly have NO respect for its parents, its teachers and others.
Got the message We know that parents want to do the best for their children but many simply do not know how, they believe by giving into the children all the time this will prove to the children and others that they love their children – NO this is not the case. One parent once told me that she had given her son everything and he had turned out to be a law breaker. My response was, “Did you give him everything or GIVE IN TO EVERYTHING”? She bowed her head in shame, but she got the message!
DO YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM LEARN THE SKILLS THEY WILL NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL?
Children who are raised in such an environment grow up to be selfish, self-centred, greedy, anti-social, blamers, lazy, takers, ungrateful, uncooperative, they have low self-esteem, little self-confidence and manipulate those around them to fulfil their needs.
This could be the time to asking yourself, am I providing my children with the necessary and professional life skills they will need to be independent and successful.
Schools not equipped Schools are not equipped nor were designed to provide this level of skills development. They neither have the resources nor expertise with which to delivery such material. They have their resource stretched to the limits in providing the curriculum they are obliged to provide. It is also unfair to expect the Education system to do this. It is the parents that now need to take control and ensure that their children are exposed to the next level of education and professional skills development. “Shine” was specially designed to provide this level of professional Success and Life Skills development.
Don’t get angry with your children if they are not performing as well as you know they can, don’t get angry get smart.
Get a Head Start by being Head Smart